Category #1: Animal
Ladies and gentlemen, this… is a blobfish. In case you missed that, I’ll say it again. Blobfish.
The blobfish is physically incapable of making a smile. This is because the blobfish has no bone structure and also because he is a blob. But scientists say that even if the blobfish were capable of making a smile, he would have nothing to smile about because he is the ugliest creature on earth. The blobfish is so forlorn. It is rumored that the blobfish was the inspiration for those animated creatures in Zoloft commercials. Additionally, this particular blobfish has an unidentified substance leaking out of his mouth.
Category #2: Celebrity
This is what you get when you Google Image search “celebrity.” Actually, that’s not completely true. When you Google Image “celebrity,” you get almost nothing but good lookin’ actresses and singers. Good lookin’ smiles. Good lookin’ hair. Good lookin’ boobs. And then… Bruce Willis. The undead. Look at this line-up; poor Bruce stands out like Lil Wayne in a Mormon Church.
Also, I have an important question to ask the person responsible for this Photoshop job: What exactly is Mr. Willis supposed to be here? He has the ears of an elf, the teeth of a vampire, the eyes of a Siberian husky, and the forehead of someone who forgot to wear his helmet to Roller Derby. In the future (should you decide to Photoshop anyone else from the cast of The Expendables) please pick one menacing demon and stick to it. Thank you.
Category #3: Non Celebrity
Look closely. It’s sort of like doing an iSpy.
BTW, this website has the best photos on the internet. Trying to pick just one was impossible.
Here are some of the runner ups: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Category #4: Inanimate Object(s)
A couple months ago I started writing a piece for this blog about mannequins. If you follow this blog religiously (Hi Ravi), you will have noticed that I never posted this piece. It’s still in the works. I don’t want to give too much away now, but to give you sneak peak of what’s to come, I created this short film.
Please watch: with sound, full screen, and at your own risk.
In short, I think mannequins are the spawn of Satan.
Category #5: Wildcard