“The perfect is the enemy of the good.”- Voltaire
“Lower your expectations and don’t blow your load too early. Also have fun.” –Bryant ‘Big Country’ Reeves
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As I packed up my Mighty Max backpack on the very last day of 1st Grade, Ms. Slanowe had one final recommendation:
“You guys should keep journaling over the summer! If anyone would like a brand new composition journal to take home, I’ll leave them by the door.”
“Aw, hell fuckin yeah,” I chirped. I loved journaling about as much as I loved making paper mache howler monkeys. (Howler monkeys? Yep, howler monkeys.)
So I grabbed a journal and got to work the very next day.
NOTE: What follows are actual, verbatim transcriptions of lil Petey’s journal entries
June 26, 1995.
Dear Journal,
Today is the first day for you and me. Every day, I am going to write in you and also I hope that I will draw a picture on you. There are a lot of pages so PLEASE don’t be angry if I use some for scrap paper. We better be friendly because summer is long and you have a lot of pages!!!!!!!!!!! I promise to write in you every day.
Love, PETEY
So meta, lil Petey
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June 27, 1995.
Dear Journal,
Today I saw POWER RANGERS THE MOVIE. I would give it three stars. Seriously, it was pretty good!!!!!!!! The Amazon Babe was very “attractive”. White Ranger is my favorite. I will be honest that no one wants to be the blue ranger. Here is my favorite scene.
Love, PETEY
PS ALSO dad took me to the arcade and I won a pink bear. I’m better at claw machines than most children my age.
Self-Explanatory
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June 28, 1995
Dear Journal,
I am very tired so I am going to bed. I did buy a pog slammer here is a picture of a pog.
Love, PETEY
"A Lion King Pog," clearly illustrated
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July 1, 1995
Dear Journal,
I AM SORRY
:(
I want to cry every time I see it. Lofty expectations, a fast start, a solid follow-up, a distinct fall-off in quality caused by the pressures of (an eight-year-old) life, a hiatus, a futile attempt to save face…
and 95 blank pages.
As I sit here scanning copies of my now sixteen-year-old journal an hour before our self-imposed deadline (Cakes is a stickler!), I feel many of those same initial emotions. The weight of a new project can daunt.
But this time, I’m lowering expectations. The purpose of this blog: to post more than 4 times. Wish me luck.
December 8, 2010
Dear Blogosphere,
Today is the first day for you and me. Once a week, I am going to drop mediocre-plus writing in you and also I hope that I will drop some amusing-plus youtube videos on you. I got grown person shit to do so I will take you lightly and you will deal. Let’s just have a good time!!!!!!!!!!! Can you handle that? LET’S DO IT.
Moyle’s a bitch,
Pete the Peasant
P.S. FYI
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